Humble Scam Reply

These just make you feel good.

Thank you very much for the request of blessings upon my humble, dilapidated person. Since wisdom is free and I am poor, I am rolling in the wealth of wisdom. You may or may not need my assisstance, but if your humble assisstant shows up at The Community Bank in Wellsville, NY to deosit sum of $100,000USD, my banker will call me fortwith to verify acceptance of monies. At that time I will cease all current endeavors and concentrate all works and prayers upon the release of yourself and your gene pool. By the grace of the Lord, large bribes and heavy weaponry, we will of course succeed in this blessed endeavor. As is most obvious, God is guiding me, but I never let him use the weapons. If this cash disbursement method is not satisfactory, then we can use the old CIA standard method. My loyal, somewhat perverted assistant Mr. Peter Inhand will stand naked on the highest peak in Allegany County. At the stroke of midnight, he shall have a fat lighted candle in each hand, and hands and arms extended horizontally from his person. Glowing in this fashion, in the tradition of the dreaded "ton ton macout" he shall be an easy target for an aerial drop of aforementioned currency. As in all such matters, the Lord advises me that the strictest of privacy would be a blessing to all concerned. Haste would be appreciated because there are many nuns out there without bras and I shall personally fit each of them with the newfound funds. My ministry would be very happy to acknowledge your generosity in all future programs endeavoring to increase sperm motility. Blessings and just desserts upon you and yours, may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits and groin if the matters at hand are deceitful or misleading. Maggots in the nostrils of your progeny and chankroids and herpes sores upon the person of your loyal assisstant, Mr. Hassan. Bless thee with flesh eating germs to feed upon thy tongue.