Thoughts

My classes suck. I can only think I have sado-masochistic tendencies. . Maybe I'm getting old or just ornery. The bullshit disgusts me. Here is an example. In Human Resource Management (managing people), planning is where any system begins. You plan around pitfalls. You are not allowed to hire all men in a project whose continuity would be interrupted to the detriment of the project if a female staffer got pregnant. She has to go 6-8 weeks, you must plan for a temp to replace her, just about the time that the temp begins to fit the flow, she's back, fire the temp, now she has to get back in the flow and maybe in post partum depression. Only a piss poor manager would allow this to happen. I'm not prejudiced against women and I know I'm not, but if you say this, which is an acknowledgement of reality, you are a male chauvinist. Not so, if you don't say this, you are not management material. It's about planning.

It's like the homo paper, I didn't write it because I am anti-homo, I wrote it because I wanted to blow away the lie (homo is genetic), because those in positions of responsibility in education were/are perpetuating the myth (lie). It goes deeper than this and is the same reason that Velikovsky is considered a charlatan and a fraud in academic circles (lie). I am altruistic enough that I hold educational institutions to a very high standard in my mind, and the truth is paramount or nothing else works. You can only build on the truth as the foundation of a building. Enough of that zhit, I must be in a bad mood.

My buddy Hepcat just stopped. A genuine loony tune. Psychotic, paranoid, schizophrenic, etc., a delightful smorgasbord of human possibilities. He wanted me to drive him around so he could take a handful of pills and then drink maybe two sixpacks of beer. These things seem to get out of control when he drives, to the tune of about 3-two thousand dollar accidents a year. He's afraid he'll kill someone in an accident, they'll put him in the slammer, and he won't have any drugs. Did I forget to mention that he is a disabled combat veteran with prescriptions to everything he ever wanted, including codiene. He has been in a drug induced stupor since the late 60's, and he's doing fine, according to his shrinks(according to Herr Hepcat the shrinks are not doing so good, lazy and stupid). Hepcat tries to harass Helena (school) who bartends at the gin mill in Podunk. I had already warned her not to let him get under her skin (he loves to harass people, anyone he can get a rise out of), to always say, "Phil, you're such a kidder." It's no fun if he can't light them off. You know, like a fuse. His latest escapade.

He called a friend of mine who was dying of cancer (on his deathbed). Told him he wasn't much of a man because he didn't make it through boot camp. Tom(on death bed), recognized his voice and said, "Why are you doing this Phil?" One year later Phil's guilt is so bad , he comes to me to see what to do. Told him he should have told me a year ago, because Tom is dead. Nevertheless, the guilt is genuine so after dragging him through reality (not a constant in his life) until I'm sure he truly appreciates the gravity of what he has done, I contacted Tom's widow and explained the situation. She is forgiving, even mentions that Tom never really gave up on Phil, because he knew of Phil's plethora of demons. This is someone's real world, and it is like this all the time. Hard to imagine, eh? Phil is remarkably clever though. He dropped an 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of blotter acid (maybe 1000 hits) in the local resevoir. I don't think anybody ever noticed. Of course there is a question there, don't you think?

We are very fortunate. We just lack perspective. Cancelled seduction of virginal type. Experience tells me that no matter what I tell her she would think she was in love. This would cause unnecessary pain and turmoil and it is avoidable from my end. Somebody should kick me up side the head so I can't figure things like this out. Ain't it a pisser though. You would think that my body would generate enough testosterone to override this logic and generate a logical argument to seduce the little sweetie pea, but you get older and that's all. Just older.